Be kind to your children: lessons from a lion

The lion is the scariest animal in the jungle to other animals, but not to its own cubs. The cubs can play-fight with their mother and father and not feel threatened. Watching a documentary about lions on TV made me realise that, growing up, as a child my parents were always scary, there was never a day when I remember them just being free and playing with me or saying something lovely. All the time it was ‘Have you done this? Have you done that? Why have you done this that way?’ Most of the time it was criticism. Now observing how I have also brought up my two older children, I was always strict with them. In my mind I thought that was the way parenting should be.

Create an environment were children can express themselves within the home

On reflection, I have realised that, if your children are not free to say whatever they want to you, to do whatever they want with you, when and with whom will they be free to be who they really are? As parents, why do we have to always be serious, we should also get our children to trust that they can be relaxed in the environment that you are in. We should talk to them in a nice relaxed manner when things have gone wrong. We should listen to them and allow them to express their feelings.

‘If you show them respect, they will also show you respect‘

We should not allow them to feel that they cannot open up and tell you what they are feeling. If you don’t let them express their emotions to you, this will lead to them being abused by other people as they will not have the ability to express themselves in settings outside of their comfort zone. Children need the reassurance in whatever they do and as parents we should be the ones who give them that reassurance. If they do not get this from you, they will look for it outside the home and will be open to abuse.

Nurture the friendship with your children, talk to them as you would like to be spoken to yourself. If you show them respect, they will also show you respect, remember the old saying, ‘charity begins at home.

How are you ensuring that all your children’s emotional needs are met? Are you always available to listen without judging? Are you their go-to-person when they are feeling unsure about certain life choices? Don’t let strangers be the ones your children trust as their values may not align with your values, let down your guard and let your children feel free to be themselves, no matter what age they are.

Create your own generational parenting practice that will nurture your offspring not stifle them.

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