I want it now,!!!!!! Instant gratification. Patience and ways to learn how to wait

As the children start deciding what they want and when they want it, it can be really difficult for us overworked parents to say no. Last night my little one decided that she wanted a lollypop and she wanted it instantly. We tried to explain to her that she had eaten the last one in the house and she would have to wait until the next evening, to have one and it will depend on her behaviour for us to buy her one after school.

Growing up in a family where luxuries were not always freely available, when we move to the west where sweets and other treats are cheaper than healthy food, it can be difficult to instil the principles of delayed gratification effectively.

This got me wondering if we as parents are fuelling this behaviour by giving our children whatever they want when they want. How do we break this cycle. Even us as adults tend to also indulge ourselves at every desire. How do we then teach our children to have the self control, if we do not have self control? How then can we train up our children to have temperance and be able to wait to earn certain luxuries or even necessities.

With the way that entertainment is now centred around things like YouTube and Netflix, where box set upon boxset is available for you to watch in one sitting, our brains are now hard wired to get all the pleasure in one go. Growing up we used to have to wait until the following week for our favourite series to air again and at times you wouldn’t even watch it if there was load shedding and there was no power. I believe this grounded us and also enabled us learn to be content with delayed gratification.

Question is, how do we get our children to be able to wait and also to earn the pleasures of life without causing drama?

To make children understand delayed gratification, you have to explain to them the end goal. You also have to ask them why they want that item now and are unable to wait. Also add an incentive by adding an extra reward if they wait. Like in the Marshmallow test the children were promised an extra marshmallow if they waited for the adult to return to the room.

Other exercises such as preparing food with them can also help, I found that if I bake with my little one, as soon as the cake is out of the oven, she wants to gobble it up, but if I say to her we still have to wait for the cake to cool down and then spread icing together, she is willing to wait as she knows that the cake is even nicer with icing.

Another exercise is planting vegetables or even flowers. They have to learn to wait for a some weeks before the plants sprout out and by the time they produce fruit or flowers, there is an even longer wait.

You can also make them learn to earn and save money if they want a toy.

You can also make them learn to earn and save money if they want a toy. Put the money in a jar and add money to the jar weekly depending on their behaviour. Get them to count the money regularly so they understand how many more weeks, etc that they have to work to be able to afford the toy. This not only makes them learn delayed gratification, but it also helps them to understand the concept of earning.

How are you training yourselves and your children to be able to appreciate delayed gratification in this world of soooo much technology and the world of take away and food deliveries. When everything is available at the touch of a button. Please feel free to add comments below.