Are your fears and insecurities affecting how you raise your children?

One day while playing in the snow with my little one, we found a worm and I was a bit worried about her not being comfortable with seeing the worm in the garden. To my surprise she picked it up, and she decided that it was going to be her pet. ‘It’s so cute!’ she exclaimed and she called it Lola for some reason. She picked it up instantly and decided that she was going to keep it in the house as her pet.

I was scared as she kept stroking it. This got me thinking about all my crippling fears that have hindered me from progressing in life and all the other fears which have affected how I have raised my children. I realised that just like when a child is learning to ride a bicycle, at some point they have to fall in order to learn how to ride. This is the same with life experiences, we can guide our children, but we cannot live their experiences and we cannot always protect them from the occupational hazards of life.

I realised that just like when a child is learning to ride a bicycle, at some point they have to fall in order to learn how to ride

Understand your insecurities

Remember that your children are not you and their life experiences are going to be different. All three of my children have had a different upbringing in a different environment where they are encouraged to speak their minds. They are very confident in what they say to people, even people they have met for the first time. As for me, as a child I was never encouraged to speak my mind and this has continued into my adult life when I should be speaking up and letting my feelings out. I have found myself stammering and unsure of how to communicate when I should be expressing myself. I have understood that I should understand my insecurities and work on overcoming them.

Understand your insecurities, learn more about them and begin the work to overcome them.

In the book

Your normal is not your children’s normal.

Your normal is not your children’s normal

My son has decided to go into music. For me being in a science environment, science is black and white and you can prove that what you are working on works by scientific formulae. I have always felt that the great area of the arts is a bit risky because it is subjective. What one may think is good, someone else may criticise it and you can never be able to make money from it like if you’re in an art museum, you see some artworks that you just don’t understand why it’s in there and they don’t look as beautiful to your eyes, but someone else will pay thousands or millions of dollars for it. But then I have to allow my children to go out there and shine and explore the mystery of the arts. I have now decided to let them be who God intended them to be so they fulfil their potential and be happy.

What are your fears and how are you managing to allow your fears to not affect how you guide your children? How are you overcoming your childhood insecurities? Feel free to share in the comments section. Also do not forget to subscribe so you do not miss any future blogs.